Sometimes they are Right!

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'


> -Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

> - Eleanor Roosevelt

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

> - Mark Twain

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 The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

> - George Burns

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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

> - Victor Borge

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

> - Mark Twain

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

> - Groucho Marx

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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

> - Jimmy Durante

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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

> - Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

> - Alex Levine

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 My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

> - Rodney Dangerfield

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Money can't buy you happiness. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

> - Spike Milligan

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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.

> - Joe Namath

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

> - Bob Hope

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

> - W. C. Fields

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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

> - Will Rogers

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 Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

> - Winston Churchill

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

> - Phyllis Diller

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 By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

> - Billy Crystal

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Love is a Trivial Comedy made up of important Tragedies
HK Snob

If you marry a good wife, you would become a poet, if you marry a bad wife, you would become a Philosopher.
HK Snob

The Difference between a wife and a prostitute is that you pay monthly and per transaction,
You request to have a blow job would be a waste of time and a blow job is a standard for later.
A Misionary position for 7 years and 7 positions in one hour...Respectively...
What do you think!?

HK Snob